Friday, April 20, 2012

Not By My Schedule

I have never been one to stick to schedules, not very organized, and being on time?..well I have gotten better. But today I sit, watching the moments click by, waiting, and wanting things to be a little more on my timing. But I do know, if that were so, I would miss so much.

Today I remember who it is who sets the appointments, sets the meetings, creates the perfect opportunities..it is our God. I remember the times I was in the best place at the exact moment I needed to be. I remember the stories of others who had divine appointments with people and situations that changed their lives. In that, I can relax, and wait for the grandson who was due on April 16th, and know it will be in His perfect timing. I can't wait to watch my daughter hold her son. I am excited to see her and hubby as parents. I am anxious to have yet another grandchild to love and be a part of my life. But...I know, he has an appointed time to enter this world, his days have been planned.

It made me wonder...is it important who will be on duty at the hospital? Is it something on one of our schedules that we yet do not know? Could it a dimple that isn't quite finished (not likely)?
Or is it something that will happen years from now? Does he need to be at a certain restaurant celebrating his birthday on that date to meet the love of his life?

When you start to wonder....it makes you realize just how much He knows. Just how many paths he must connect. How he looks from behind, to connect to the now and braid in the future. It makes you remember details in your life of how He did that for you. I wouldn't want my impatient wishes to get in the way of that.

And when you remember who He is, then you begin to let go. Let all things be done in His schedule and on His time. Having the ominicient view that He has, makes our lives so much more fulfilling. Waiting for a change in your present doesn't always happen quickly. But it seems always in hindsight, at some point and time....maybe not for a long time, you can see why it had to happen when and how and where it did.

So, on that day he took my grandson's soul, whom He already knew and placed him in my precious daughter's womb; He knew then and even before, the day that he shall be born. He knew the where and who would be there. He knew the why and He knew the prayers that would be lifted now. He knew He would smile gently and send us His peace and tell us it won't be long. He knew He would need to remind me, that He knows best. So I will await His chosen day, and celebrate when it comes.
Thank you Lord for always knowing what is best, and especially for reminding me when I need it.

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalm 139:16 NLT

May my words always be salt and light to those who read them!

Friday, April 6, 2012

It's been a while...

I haven't posted anything here since January, and before that there had been a long space of time as well. When I began to write here faithfully, I felt it was a part of my spiritual growth, a place to reflect on the world around me and on how my spiritual growth was effecting that. I also felt God used these words for others. Maybe I need to get back to this?
Today I am feeling this choking...and I think I even expected it to come. I need to just get some of this out, and here is a perfect place to do that. Around me...my church, family, work, I have seen the spiritual rising. And I knew Satan would be angered, and I watched for him. I knew he would sneak in, and secretly and deceptively work his ways and weave them into the spiritual, attempting to steal the joy and peace. He is the enemy and he sees that spiritual uprising as a battle to fight.
I also still see God at work, and I am seeking Him, staying in the word and praying.
But I feel strongly we need accountability with one another. We need to be honest and open about our emotions, our temptations, because alone I truly believe we are weaker. I can look back to every time I fell from God's will and know, I walked it alone. I didn't confide honestly about all I was dealing with to anyone.
Even today, I have no idea why I am feeling as I am. I know this weekend will be special. Wonderful things happening. An Easter celebration! I can't even pinpoint what has me here. I can only believe it is a lie whirling in my mind. And he would like me to keep this quiet. He wants me to keep it hidden. Because if I post this, someone will be praying. His darts will hit shields placed before me. His demons will be pushed away by angels. The lies will be silenced, and peace will be wrapped around me.
It is a glorious thing to have believers among us. Even if you're not one, you should know, they are praying for you. They see your hurts, and sometimes your name just pops in their minds and they lift you up. They pray for God's will. They pray for peace. They pray for God to send people to you. It is the ONLY way to walk in this world, and for those of you who have not accepted the choice presented to you to believe....I don't know how you do it. How do you walk in this world? How do you walk without faith?
This was a very unfocused writing today. I just needed to get this out. Ramblings most will not understand...but I am asking God to lay it into the right hands. I already am feeling lighter.
Lord, on this weekend that we here celebrate the gift given to us....your birth, your perfect life, your sacrifice....and then your promise in your resurrection...I thank you. I thank you for the promises I have in you. I thank you for the believers in my life. I thank you for reminding me I serve a powerful God....and this too shall pass. You always have the victory!
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Hebrews 11:1
Today I hope my words may be salt and light to someone..I am looking for some too!