Saturday, April 23, 2011

A Secret Disciple?

Of the many times I have read the scriptures describing Jesus' death and resurrection, this weekend these words stood out to me, and I do not think I have noticed them before.
"Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jews." John 19:38
How many of us are secret disciples, and what is it that we fear? I do not doubt for a minute that Joseph loved Jesus. I am imagining what he felt that day when he asked for Jesus' body, probably some shame for his fear, but above that, his love for his teacher, his savior.
I feel I use this blog to share my love for my savior, my personal testimony and pieces of my walk...but I think I do it here also because of my fear. I do not see the eye rolls, or the head shakes of those I want to share. Or the disinterest. I put it out there, and I let it go. I do leave the door open if someone wants to talk, but I avoid the rejection. Kind of like Joseph, a secret disciple. Just because my name is attached to this, I do feel like I am sharing this in secret. I am not really sure what keeps me from sharing it more often verbally. I do if the door is wide open...and I also try to do it in my walk.
This is an area I need to work on. I need to be open to the Holy Spirit and speak when I know He is asking me to. I should not keep something so wonderful a secret from a hurting world.
What about you, are you a secret disciple? What fear keeps your walk a secret?
May you always find salt and light in my words!

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