Our hearts, they're a sneaky kind of thing. They are capable of so much and they are really where all our battles take place. They all begin in the heart.
My heart has been heavy today. Missing my mom. So the battle of mourning still resides there.
I have felt the same way about God sometimes. Sometimes he feels so far away from me. His presence is always there, just like mom. However, sometimes the distance is stronger than the presence.
This is going to be a quiet kind of Sunday for words. I almost chose to make it a silent one. But I know I want to do this every day. I want to to be able to look back and see where my head and my heart were every day.
This one may not make sense to most who read it. Just random thoughts.
And the more I try to write tonight, the more I am feeling my heart is a little tangled.
Laying down my weapon and walking away from this battle tonight.
Going to cover myself in prayer.
"Do not fear for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous hand." Isaiah 41:10
And that is why I will sleep peacefully tonight and know that God has a hold of me. He understands my tangled feelings, He is right there. The distance comes from me, not him.
May you find salt and light in God's word tonight!
I too have lost my mother so I feel like just being quiet and retreating to my own space. Thanks for your transparency.
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